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Thursday, 20 May 2010

blargh

super inappropriate dream involving a certain someone's older brother. Damn my mind. Then another dream about someone who's already been established as off limits (for good reasons. i'm glad he's happy.) that somehow ended in him quoting song lyrics (cant even freaking remember what song) about how he wanted us to be together. but that's a no go. he's seems so happy where he is now, and all the best to him.

freaking twitter is down in china.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

contradictions

going out with david was such an irrational choice, so opposed to all I preach. not logical, not rational. i will graduate from college in a year at 19 with a double major and a minor, go in to the world, and wear a suit 9-5, come home from work, and study for exams for the next 5 years. i went to a magnet school for smart kids 5 hours away from home when i was 13, and haven't really been back besides summers cooped up in my room with my laptop since. he dropped out of high school after his sophomore year, when he was as old as i was when i graduated. he works at jimmy john's full time and just recently started taking classes at community college. at least his life is going in the right direction now, but that's not really what this was about. somehow this anomaly showed me what could be. when i was with him, i felt relaxed, and cared about, and happier than i'd been in a long time. it was great just to have that calming force for a change, to be able to slow down and not worry about school or homework or internships or jobs for a few hours, just lying there with him. the third time we hung out, we tried to watch a movie and ended up just cuddling and staring at each other for about 30 mins before we turned off the movie. during that first bit, there was no making out nothing sexual at all, just being. it was fun to be in the cutsey beginning stages of a relationship again, where you still dress up just a bit to see the other person and they bring out the best in you. i think i pushed it too fast. he said he didn't want a relationship, but that's sort of where it headed; i think that was my fault. I'm sad i don't get to just hang out with him anymore, i needed the relaxation, but really didn't have time for it. hopefully next semester we can hang out a bit, even if it's just as friends. with my ex there was really no feeling of 'what if' because 4.5 years was a lot of time to figure out what could have happened. now, that feeling is there a bit, but stronger is knowing what to expect. somehow this guy who anyone from my pre-college life would have dismissed as 'not good enough' has, more than anyone else, shown me what to expect of a partner, and that's great. maybe we'll get together again, maybe not. regardless, good decision.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

Wow. It's been a while. Mostly dreamless, and those I have been having I've been forgetting. Last night I had a dream worth remembering tho. I walked into a house that I didn't recognize and there was a flight of stairs up to the left. I knew I was there to see Mole {RC...} But when I got there, Abe was there too. In remembering the dream, dreamAbe!=Abe, appearancewise at least, but I definatley knew it was her... I think mostly the hair was different, but she was wearing this sheer blue floor length gown {Don't know why} and it was really pretty. Standing in front of her was a 6-7 year old with thin long light brown hair. It was a grown up (relatively at least) Ady!! She was quite trim, and very cute! Gah. It made me really miss Junior year (minus the incredibly bitchy roommate. but with the awesome RC and hours spent in the office) I should go visit Abe sometime.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

A couple of dreamless nights, and a couple I didn't remember. And another one last night. I was on the internet, trying to check an English grade from Ms. Wells. She'd emailed document to the class with all of our comments. We couldn't open the document, but some guy named Sam (I know so many...) figured out how to get at it using encryption and codecs and stuff. We had a letter and from that we could figure out our comments. It ended up being a grid of different aspects of our writing and our letter. My letter compared me to a bunch of people from West, which was weird cuz of the whole imsa teacher thing.

Sunday, 07 September 2008

September 5, 2008
3 dreams-- 1 detailed, 1 clear, 1 forgotten.
Dream Number 1
I had a dream a bout making myself a Bloody Mary, a drink I've never had, and always thought I wouldn't particularly like. When I went to make it, everything but the vodka was in a 13x9 class pan, mixed together. I was told that I needed exactly one tablespoon of it. I do a fair amount of baking, so I was just going to eyeball it and call it good. Apparently that didn't fly, they said I needed exactly one tablespoon again, and insisted I measured. Except htey ddidn't have any measuring devices. All this was taking place with a group of people I hung out with for the first time the night before, who have never met Boy or anyone else he knows. Then one of Boy's friends, the one who cooks, pops out of nowhere wiht a serving looking spoon that had to have been bigger than a tablespoon, and a funny shaped spoon that measured 2 tablespoons. Someone then grabbed the spoon I didn't take, and started using it to eat the tomato mixture. I was trying to measure one tablespoon with the two tablespoon measurere, and it wasn't going so well, all the while I was freaking out about whether to mix the tomato into the vodka or the vodka into the tomato, becuase there was such a small amount of tomato mixture. /wakeup

Dream Number 2
Private.

September 6th, 2008
2 dreams- 1 clear, 1 forgotten
Dream Number 1
I was at some sort of wedding or wedding rehearsal with Boy's mom/ his family, except he wasn't there. I sort of remember him not being there because he had something else to do. I don't remember who was getting married, but I think it was a couple I knew from back at BTHSW. His mom is kinda talking to herself about having drinks for everyone in the wedding party, and someone (maybe Boy's dad?) was like "_name_?", presumabley asking if I was getting a drink, and Boy's mom said 'Sure, she's 16," at which point I gave her a funny look, and she said "Oh, right, bus, nevermind." Apparnetly I was taking the bus too and from the wedding venue (nowhere I recognized, although vaguley reminicent of the retreat center where I worked this summer, and have been to a wedding at before) and that was good enough reason for me not to drink. Next, this random guy walks up to me and is like, "You're _name_" and I was (obviously) except I had absolutely no idea who this guy was, but he introduced himself with a name that sounded like it belonged on a chat forum/ website, and then said that his actual name was *name I don't remember*. We kinda walked around for a little while, and we went into a building with a few computers, and he was on a gaming forum talking to people on a computer running Hardy. He then mentioned that he was only here for a little while, and that he would be going soon. We walked back outside where the other people were, and he left. /wake up.